Sometimes the hardest thing to do in life, is to pause. We live in a world that is constantly in motion. As busy professionals and / or parents we are constantly on the go, up against deadlines and deliverables. As heads of busy households, we manage our own deliverables and everyone else’s in our household too. We move from task to task and appointment to appointment until we hit our pillow at the end of the day, and even then, we may run through tomorrow’s list of “to do’s” in our heads, before finally nodding off. During these times of Covid19, with canceled social events, trips and sports, closed gyms, eliminated commutes and imposed "slow downs", in other words, times when, in theory we should have more opportunity to lean into more available space and time, I have connected with many people who are still operating with a sense of urgency and action, that is leaving them feeling anxious and overwhelmed.
Why is that? The reasons are many. For some people, there’s a surge of energy that comes from pushing oneself hard, even to the limit – experiencing an adrenaline rush that they are not ready to relinquish. For others, there is a competitive streak that keeps the pressure on to “succeed”, and if we are perfectionists, to “over-succeed” and deliver beyond expectations. Sometimes we have something to prove to ourselves. Other times we have something to prove to others. Sometimes adherence to busy schedules allows us to feel more in control of our lives. Sometimes constant action in some areas of our lives is a comfortable way for us to distract ourselves from the work we need to do in others. And, sometimes we do things the way we do, because that’s what we have always done and we have not stopped to ask ourselves "why?" For many though, this way of being and doing is feeling misaligned with changed life and work demands.
Don’t get me wrong, having an ability to act and to act swiftly is important, and action steps are important to keep us moving toward our goals. Not only that, but, crossing items off a “to do” list can be enormously satisfying. In industrialized societies, we tend to associate action with progress, and we don’t consciously hit “pause”, often until we have to. Unfortunately, that point of “having to” is usually a “breaking point” or an outright crash. In our relentless “doing” we are artificially separating two experiences that do not exist without each other. With action, comes inaction or pause. With pause, comes action. They are 2 sides of the same coin. What is critical to well being is reintegrating choice around when we use each.
The benefits of a pause are many. Finding moments in our day to pause reconnects us with what we value and reminds us that we choose our actions. Taking these small moments to take a longer breath, creates a space for reflection and conscious choice. It is often in these moments that we discover that our behavior is not serving us in ways it previously did - that we are directing energy into areas of our life we no longer value or not enough into areas that are now of critical importance. When we step back and embrace both action and pause, we invite more balance into our lives. Especially during these times when so much in our environment can feel out of our control, re-centering in a pause grounds us, creates space for us to reflect and empowers us to choose.
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